If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic,
different." Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

what bum knee?! everyone and they momma knows you need to good knees to be knockin' boots! i mean from what i hear, that is.
...

Woods' wife expecting another child

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) - Even with his golf done for the year, Tiger Woods found something to celebrate Tuesday: His wife is pregnant with their second child.

Woods said on his Web site that Elin is expecting in late winter without being more specific on a due date.

He has not played since his U.S. Open victory in June, and two weeks later had reconstructive surgery on his left knee that put him out for the year. Woods' first child, daughter Sam, was born the Monday after the 2007 U.S. Open.

"Elin is feeling great and we are both thrilled," Woods said. "While my injury has been disappointing and frustrating, it has allowed me to spend a lot of time watching Sam grow. I can't begin to tell you how rewarding it is being a dad and spending time with her and Elin.

"The injury has been a blessing and a disappointment."

The world's No. 1 player has begun rehabilitation and has traveled recently to Dubai and New York for business projects.

Woods had said after he married in 2004 that he wanted more than one child. Woods was an only child, while Elin has a twin sister.

Damn. She aged, bad.

remember this?


we want change

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could
just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked
you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us onto the
ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a
beat....
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank
you. Tray-up, bitch."

Juno

I think I'm gonna purchase the soundtrack for that movie.

This is worse than the Cedar Fire. I just got a call from the boss, and there's no use of coming in to work. The out of control wild fire is only 5 miles away from work! My brother-in-law, sister, and the kids are coming over 'cause their area is being evacuated.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/22/wildfire.ca/index.html

http://community.livejournal.com/san_diego/2617687.html

haha



i love this show.

"We're kicking ass," Bush said to Vaile Tuesday, according the Herald, after the deputy prime minister inquired about his trip to Iraq.

/hang head in shame

story

"One of the key elements of Bush’s plan would allow homeowners with a good credit history, but who cannot afford their mortgage payments, to refinance into mortgages insured by the Federal Housing Administration to keep from defaulting."

story

don't have maps?
wow.

What to do?

1. Athens, to meet with a buddy who's currently stationed in Germany?
2. fly into Toronto (hi Nag), then fly out of Quebec?
3. Jacksonville, meet with the BFF and watch the Chargers/Jaguars game?

/cue Jeopardy theme

Bai Yun is pregnant again?!
what a h0r.

here

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). A realization: You're fine just as you are. Success will not make you, in the same way that failure will not break you. Still, you can't help but strive – it's like it's in your DNA.

waaaaaaaaaaah.

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty Years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back? That makes eighty. OK?"

"OK," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you...